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Article Writing · Studypool

Writing Question

Post ID: 3547570

Steps to Complete the Assignment With Your Girlfriend

1. Teach Her the Three Dialectics

Explain each concept before either of you completes the form.

  • Separation–Integration: Whether you want more individual time or more involvement in each other’s lives.
  • Openness–Closedness: Whether you want to share more personal thoughts and feelings or maintain more privacy.
  • Predictability–Novelty: Whether you prefer familiar routines or want more new and spontaneous experiences.

Relational dialectics are normal opposing needs that people try to balance within relationships.

2. Prepare Two Copies of the Form

You need one form for yourself and one for your girlfriend. You can print two copies, copy the three lines onto paper, or recreate them in a document.

The three lines should be:

Separation ——————————————— Integration

Openness ——————————————— Closedness

Novelty ——————————————— Predictability

3. Fill Out the Forms Separately

Do not look at each other’s answers until both forms are complete.

For each dialectic:

  • Put an X where you think your relationship currently falls.
  • Draw an arrow toward the direction you want the relationship to move.
  • Use a short arrow for a small change.
  • Use a medium arrow for a moderate change.
  • Use a long arrow for a large change.
  • Do not draw an arrow when you do not want any change.

4. Complete Your Form

Think honestly about all three areas.

For Separation–Integration, decide whether you currently have more independence or more involvement in each other’s lives. Then decide whether you want more time together or more individual time.

For Openness–Closedness, decide how openly you currently share your feelings, concerns, and private information. Then decide whether you want greater openness or more privacy.

For Predictability–Novelty, decide whether your relationship includes more familiar routines or new experiences. Then decide whether you want more routine or more variety.

5. Have Your Girlfriend Complete Her Form

Your girlfriend should complete her form without seeing your answers.

She should place one mark and, when she wants change, one arrow on each line. She should also think about why she chose each position and arrow because she will need to explain her answers during the discussion.

6. Compare Your Forms

After both forms are finished, sit down together and compare your answers one dialectic at a time.

Discuss them in this order:

  1. Separation–Integration
  2. Openness–Closedness
  3. Predictability–Novelty

Do not skip a dialectic just because your marks appear similar.

7. Explain Every Mark and Arrow

Each person should explain:

  • Why the X was placed in that position.
  • Why the arrow points in that direction.
  • Why the arrow is short, medium, or long.
  • What specific change the person wants.
  • What the other partner could do to help create that change.

For example, your girlfriend might want more Integration, but what she really means could be that she wants more focused quality time rather than simply spending more hours together.

8. Discuss Your Differences

Talk about areas where your answers are different.

You might discover that:

  • One person wants more time together while the other wants more individual time.
  • One person believes the relationship is very open while the other wants more communication.
  • Both people want more novelty, but one person wants a much larger change.
  • You placed similar marks but had different reasons for choosing them.

Discuss a realistic compromise that considers both people’s needs.

9. Take Notes

Write down:

  • Where you placed your marks and arrows.
  • Where your girlfriend placed her marks and arrows.
  • Her explanation for each answer.
  • Your similarities and differences.
  • What surprised you.
  • What you learned about the relationship.
  • Any changes you agreed to make.

These notes will help you write the seven sections of the reflection.

Writing the Reflection

Your reflection should be at least 700 words and divided into seven numbered sections.

1. Who You Chose and Why

Write about choosing your girlfriend.

Explain:

  • How long you have been close.
  • Why she was a good partner for the assignment.
  • Why you believed she would be honest.
  • Why your relationship has enough similarities and differences to discuss.

2. How You Explained the Assignment

Even though she had already agreed, describe how you explained what she would be doing.

Write about:

  • How you described the assignment.
  • What you told her about the form.
  • Any questions she asked.
  • How she responded to the activity.

3. Teaching the Concepts

Explain how you taught her:

  • Separation–Integration
  • Openness–Closedness
  • Predictability–Novelty

Describe the examples you used, which concept she understood most easily, and whether any concept required more explanation.

4. Your Form

Describe your three marks and arrows.

For each dialectic, explain:

  • Where you placed your X.
  • Which direction your arrow pointed.
  • How long the arrow was.
  • Why you made that choice.
  • What change you want.

5. Your Girlfriend’s Form

Describe all three of her marks and arrows.

Include:

  • Where she placed each X.
  • Which direction each arrow pointed.
  • Whether each arrow was short, medium, or long.
  • Her explanation for each choice.
  • What she wants to change in the relationship.

6. Your Discussion and What You Learned

Compare both forms.

Explain:

  • Where you agreed.
  • Where you disagreed.
  • Which difference was most important.
  • What surprised you.
  • What you learned about her needs.
  • What she learned about your needs.
  • How you agreed to balance the tensions better.

7. CIP

Choose one dialectic that needs better balance.

Your CIP must have the following structure:

Problem: Six Sentences

Write exactly six sentences explaining:

  1. Where the relationship currently falls.
  2. What repeated behavior creates the imbalance.
  3. How the imbalance affects you.
  4. How it affects your girlfriend.
  5. Why the problem has continued.
  6. Why the relationship would benefit from improvement.

Goal: One Sentence

Write one sentence stating the balance or improvement you want to achieve.

Procedure: Three Steps

Write three numbered actions that you and your girlfriend will complete.

Each step should be specific and realistic.

Test of Achievement: One Sentence

Write one sentence explaining when you will evaluate the plan and exactly how you will know whether it worked.

Final Checklist

Before submitting, make sure:

  • You have seven numbered sections.
  • The reflection is at least 700 words.
  • You describe every mark and arrow.
  • You include both your explanations and your girlfriend’s explanations.
  • Your CIP problem has six sentences.
  • Your CIP goal has one sentence.
  • Your CIP procedure has three numbered steps.
  • Your test of achievement has one sentence.
  • You bold the dialectic words whenever you use them.
  • You attach pictures of both forms or clearly describe both forms in your writing.