Overview
Hey man, first off, thank you for working on this. I really appreciate the effort you put into it. That said, I received a lot of critique and feedback from my instructor, and we need to make several revisions before I can move forward with the presentation.
Please keep in mind, this needs to be a TED Talk–style presentation, so overall it has to feel clean, sharp, and minimal, not cluttered. Less is more.
Here are the key updates:
Overall (Important):
- Please remove the hands in the background from all slides. The image with the person holding their head is very distracting and takes away from the message.
- Make sure all spelling and grammar are correct throughout.
- Standardize the font to Garamond across the entire presentation.
Slide-Specific Feedback:
- Slide 2: No need to worry about it, I can adjust that on my end.
- Slide 5: Needs a smoother transition. Again, remove the background hands.
- Slide 6:
- This slide is too busy, it needs to be more concise.
- Reduce the amount of data and numbers. I will explain that verbally.
- Add a strong visual statement like: Mississippi ranks 49th in suicide rates. That should be the main focus and grab attention.
- Implementation Framework (Rural Mississippi slide):
- Remove “community, workforce, sustainability” visuals.
- Replace with something cleaner, maybe a Mississippi-focused visual or map.
- Operational Roadmap slide:
- Remove the “1, 2, 3, 4” format.
- Replace it with a visual roadmap design, something more engaging and less text-heavy.
- Framework slide (around Slide 15):
- Same approach, reduce text and simplify visuals.
- Slide 16 (Sustainability / Funding):
- Replace current content with something cleaner.
- Again, remove background hands.
- Slide 17 (Cost & Feasibility):
- Remove the heavy numbers and charts.
- This is too distracting. I will explain this verbally.
- Slide 18 (Leadership Decision):
- Remove “equity, prevention, policy, legacy” from being listed out like that.
- Replace with minimal wording or a strong visual. I will explain those concepts.
- Slide 19:
- “Train, Lead, Transform” feels too tight and cluttered.
- Make it more clean, spaced out, and visually appealing.
Final Direction:
Overall, I need this to feel less busy, more visual, and more impactful. The audience should not be reading while I’m speaking. The slides should support the message, not compete with it.
Let’s lean into a TED Talk style, clean visuals, minimal text, strong imagery.